PG's Tips

I wonder how much people question what’s right and what’s wrong. I think there are some things that people just assume everyone agrees on as wrong or evil. And we judge anyone that commits such offences. But when asked why we think these things are right or wrong most people can’t really explain it. They might use the excuse of the law of the land but I’d be surprised if anyone actually believes that geography has the biggest impact on the difference between good and evil.

Another popular argument might be to treat other people as you want to be treated. (Which is strangely reminiscent of some excellent two thousand year old teaching that I think I’ve heard somewhere!) The problem is I’m not sure I’m particularly good at that (and I think others might be the same). I cut people up when I’m driving in traffic but if anyone does it to me I get really angry. I’m slow to forgive others when they’ve upset me but I’m sure I’d be wishing they’d forgive me quickly whenever I wrong them.

I remember hearing the following song lyric for the first time and thinking how true it often is.

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”
The Fray – All At Once

I’ve written before about how we’re often tempted to do the thing that gives us the most benefit now rather than thinking of the long term benefits. I think that comes into this whole process as well. Sometimes the hardest thing is to give up something that you want now to get something later on that’s going to be so much better.

If you want to think of this in a different way then consider many of the scenarios Jack Bauer has found himself in. He’s a guy that many may think always does the right thing (although that is questionable at times). But it’s obvious that he never goes for the easy option when faced with a dilemma.

So next time you’re faced with a difficult choice and you’re not sure what the right thing to do is, maybe try thinking what would Jack do? Or maybe what would The Fray say? Or maybe just think is the hardest option the better thing in the long run?

Well I’ve been relegated from my regular column in my work e-newsletter. But I was still keen to write something this month.

I want to talk about integrity. I guess maybe it’s something people are thinking of a bit as they try and decide who to vote for in next week’s elections. I wonder whether some people might ask their local representative to have “integrity” without really considering what it means or whether they have any of it themselves!

Some people might think it means to behave the same way all the way through your life. But let’s be honest who does that? Who acts the same at an important job interview as they do when having a beer or a glass of wine with a close friend? Or who behaves the same with their boyfriend/girlfriend in front of his/her parents as you do when you’re alone?

This doesn’t make us two-faced. In fact it makes us aware of the situations and the people we’re around. Sometimes it’s wise to consider others before acting in a way that maybe inappropriate or offensive to them.

So what is integrity then? I guess one way of looking at it would be “doing what you preach” – not expecting others to meet up to standards that you’re unable to reach yourself. Let’s face it… no one likes to be caught out in that way though.

But I have an even more difficult suggestion of what it means to have integrity. And unfortunately it probably means a standard that I am unable to reach myself! I think that’s okay though. What if integrity is making the “right” choice even if no one would have seen you make the “wrong” anyway?

Our culture often seems to suggest that if you can get away with something then it’s alright. Having an affair is not so bad as long you don’t get caught. Driving over the speed limit is alright as long as it’s not past a speed camera or a police car. Even, dare I say it, there’s nothing wrong with downloading or watching illegal copyrighted videos on the internet.

That’s an interesting one. People will often argue that no one gets hurt. And although the government may start to make policies to block such activity it’s certainly a VERY long way off from people easily getting reprimanded for such activity. Those who watch these videos argue that TV and movie stars get paid too much anyway. (Even if they do, what about all the other staff that help create these films and TV shows?)

Anyway my intention was not so much to target any one activity in particular. Each person needs to judge for themselves what is acceptable and by what standard they want to try to measure to. My advice is just to consider raising that bar just a little bit? Because maybe our character is not just about who we are seen to be but is affected by what goes on behind closed doors, and even maybe what goes on inside our minds.
An impossible task? I think not. Have hope… there is grace, forgiveness and help if you need it. I know a Man who can.

Writers’ block! I’m struggling to think of things to write about now. I had wondered whether 15 previous PG tips was the limit of my wisdom?! I don’t know if you sales guys have similar thing on the phone sometimes? (Not sure what the phone conversation equivalent is of writers block?!)

So while I realise what my ultimate inspiration is, I started thinking about other things that inspire me. A lot of you will probably be able to guess them by now: music, comedy, film, TV. I’d like to say books but my bookshelf at home is mostly taken up with DVDs, and the few books on there have only one or two creases in the spine as I’ve not managed to finish many of them.

When you think about it, the need for inspiration makes sense. How can you give out anything convincing when you’re not getting anything inspirational? I’ll give an analogy that I’m sure many of you lot will be able to appreciate! It’s like a pub… how can they keep serving beer without occasionally getting a delivery of a few kegs from their supplier?

So I’ve inadvertently landed on some advice. Go out and feed yourself on something that inspires you. Read a biography of someone you admire, catch up with family or friends that you love and respect, or maybe just go for a walk in some of the natural beauty spots that I know there are still plenty of in the UK. But don’t forget that if you’re going to gorge yourself on some inspiration you should probably give some back out to the people around you again.

Well the only thing I could think of this month that helped me come up with this was a comedy/music clip featuring the great Will Ferrell. (It might be a bit of an acquired taste but give it a go!)

Need More Cowbell

Trust – how do you get it? It can’t be bought or rushed – which isn’t very conducive with the modern attitude of “What can I get now?!”

Previous ideas of encouraging trust in the workplace probably involved exercises where one person voluntarily falls back while the other person is expected to catch them. And how risky a manoeuvre that is would depend on which of your colleagues you happened to be partnered with!

How do I think trust happens? Well it’s got to be a two way process. You can make a sincere gesture of investing and believing in someone. But ultimately they then have to decide how to respond to that gesture. To put to good use the investment that’s been made to them or to cash out and run. (Sounds a little bit like “Game Theory” which is used in economics, biology, engineering, political science, international relations, computer science, and philosophy – look it up!)

However I think you can encourage trust. If you spot a talent in someone and take a chance on them, a bond will often be formed. If you make yourself vulnerable by sharing something personal with a friend hopefully they will admire your courage and provide you with the confidential support that you need.

But this trust thing is a risky business. But as Dr Kelso off of Scrubs says:

“Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.”

Now on the subject of Scrubs, I wanted to find a trust related video but the best I could do was a parody of “Risky Business” – a film featuring a young Tom Cruise in a classic dance scene that I’m disappointed hasn’t yet been replicated at an Encore event!

Original video:

Scrubs parody:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=G_NQWAmzmhA

It’s interesting what issues have come up because of the weather recently. I’m a little disappointed in our country’s ability to cope with snowy or icy conditions but actually what can you expect after decades of mild winters and cold summers? I did find it strangely amusing that some of the people who had wished and gambled on it being a white Christmas were then concerned that they wouldn’t be able to make it to see family, friends or go on that dream holiday because of adverse weather conditions.

I think it’s a similar frustration I have with people voting for someone to win the X Factor (or similar shows) and then not actually buying their album when it’s eventually released. (I find myself wanting to decide a winner on the public’s behalf!)

This is a case of people wanting something that actually they don’t really want (see my last tips about long-term thinking). Other times people want things that they don’t actually need, like all the recent snow. And unfortunately conversely to the Rolling Stones song (lyrics below) sometimes you do actually get what you want rather than what you need.

“No, you can’t always get what you want,
You can’t always get what you want,
You can’t always get what you want,
And if you try sometime, you just might find,
You get what you need.”

So what’s the trick to not wanting what you want then? I’m not sure. I think it starts with big picture thinking. Starting to consider what do I actually need, what would be good for the people around me, or even what would be best for the country? (That’s why I’ve been hoping for mild, maybe even rainy weather conditions the last couple of weeks.)