PG's Tips

I am considering for the first time in my life getting a credit card. Never really liked the idea of spending money that I don’t have. I still feel that way but for various other benefits am leaning more towards it.

It makes me think about one of the big slogans you hear in advertising – a mindset that causes many problems in the world today, and not just financial ones.

“Buy now, pay later.”

I think it encourages people to make purchases that they can’t actually afford. From there it’s very easy to get carried away into dangerous levels of debt.

People can get into the same pattern with personal relationships as well: “Not sure I want to be with this person this time next year but what can I get out of this relationship while it still lasts?”. Or with business: “What can I squeeze out of this client right now?” with little regard of maintaining a positive long-term relationship with them.

The lesson of delayed gratification is a difficult one. Sometimes you can be clever with a wise financial investment. Sometimes a lucky bet ends up paying big. Sometimes investing your time in extensive training with a new member of staff pays off and you see them flourish in their role later down the line.

The crucial thing is not rushing into decisions based on short term impulses and desires but thinking about what is going to best in the long run.

Here’s a short video to demonstrate the struggles and benefits of delayed gratification.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWW1vpz1ybo

You may have heard it said that if you fail to plan then you should plan to fail. There are times when I hear that said and I think that is totally true. Then there are other times when I think that doesn’t apply to me right now… normally when I’ve told myself I don’t have time to plan something!

Sometimes I spend most of my working day snoozing tasks because I’m on the phone doing something critical or because I’m in the middle of a big job that’s taking longer then I first thought. I find that hard. I get annoyed that I’ve failed at the targets I’ve set myself.

So it seems like if I don’t plan then I fail, and if I do plan then I still fail! Lose, lose? I think the lesson that I regularly need to remind myself of is to forgive myself when I don’t hit a target. And maybe to be a bit more realistic about the timeframe that I’m capable of completing things in. But that should never prevent me from listening to the encouragement of the S Club 7 lyric: “Reach for the stars”. It’s only by aspiring towards big things that we achieve something of any significance.

And for those who believe planning is always a boring thing (as I remember an ex-girlfriend of mine regularly saying to me), I give you this video. (I’m sure it took some planning!)

As anyone who has seen me play guitar and sing live before knows, I don’t do requests. (It’s not so much that I’m pretentious; it’s just that I’ve never learnt the classics that everyone always seems to shout out like “Brown Eyed Girl”!)

Having said that, I never like turning down a challenge, and one was thrown my way whilst enjoying some liquid refreshment after a long 16 mile walk down the Leicestershire canals. (Which was, I think anyone who was there will agree, a huge challenge in itself!) I was thrown concepts left, right and centre to weave into my next “tips”. And as the ones I could remember were good concepts, I thought I’d see what I could do!

One was about feeding something back into the community. I’ve already spoken about the weird sense of satisfaction you often seem to get when giving your time or money for the benefit of others. (Check back through my previous tips if you need your memory refreshing.)

What makes it worthwhile though? If it had been a 5 or 10 mile walk would it have been as satisfying? The sense of achievement is often related to the degree of sacrifice. Similarly you might think that the sense of appreciation for a gift received is related to the cost? However I would actually argue it’s more to do with the level of sacrifice. If you receive a gift that cost £10 it might not seem like a significant gift. But if you find out that it’s from a small child who hasn’t bought any sweets for the last month in order to save that money then suddenly the gift becomes more significant.

When you’re willing to sacrifice for something it shows commitment. You see it in business, in friendships, family and in relationships (or at least you should). When you give up some of the things you would like for the benefit of someone you care about it shows your loyalty towards them. Too often in the world today it is deemed as alright to just move on when you’re not getting what you want any more. I think the world would be a much better place if we started demonstrating this quality not just in our shopping (“loyalty cards”) but also in some of our other more important decisions.

A phrase from one of Encore’s (the company I work for) many accreditations is “Investor in People”. This has often got me thinking about what my priorities are as an individual.

As probably only a few of you are aware, I am currently doing a distance learning course in theology with a small portion of my free time. (I’m not the only one in the company doing some distance learning… ask around!) The module I’ve recently started is about the different worldviews that people have, and in the Skype seminar I was in on last night (oh the technological world we live in) I realised that what a person chooses to invest in is a good indicator of what worldview they have.

Google’s definitions of worldview.

People who believe that this world is all there is will usually invest as much time and energy in making the most out of their life. Sometimes that’s trying to get the most enjoyment out of every year of your life. Sometimes it’s about investing in your family, hoping that they will continue some of your legacy when you’re gone. Others still will invest much of their time and energy in their research and ideas, with the aim that they will be admired fondly in the records of history.

Evolutionary biologists will often suggest that animals (of which humans are included) will only choose to invest in their own survival and the survival of their blood relatives. (I questioned this in my disertation during my Zoology degree by asking then why it was that we often see step-fathers and adopted fathers caring deeply for children that aren’t their own.)

So why invest in people that aren’t your family then? Some people would argue you reap what you sow (investing in good karma). Some would say that you will personally benefit from being a defining member of a community of people that care for each other. I’m not sure I would entirely agree with any of these options myself, but still I am certain that investment in people is one of the most worthwhile allocation of resources (especially in an evidently changeable economy).

But I don’t think I’ll win anyone to my way of thinking with logic and compelling philosophy. So what’s my tip for this month then? (And yet again I’m speaking to myself as much as any of you.) Why not try a random act of kindness and see what happens? Buy a chocolate bar for a stranger. Stick an envelope with some spare cash through the letterbox of someone you know is in need (leaving no evidence as to who it’s from). Wash another car down the street while you’re doing your own. (The more random and anonymous the better!)

What will happen? Maybe you’ll realise that you were quite happy with your original worldview! Maybe you’ll re-evaluate some of the ways you see the world around you and the people in it. Either way drop me an email to let me know!

I imagine that many of you grew up like me with the idea that it’s good to be interacting lots with the people who live and work around you.

“Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours.”

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came”
“I’ll be there for you when the rain starts to pour, …like I’ve been there before.”

Soaps and sitcoms are always really popular TV shows. But are these kinds of relationships reflected in current communities in the UK? How many of you know the names, jobs, pastimes of the people that live around you. I recently moved into a block of flats with every intention of getting to know the people that lived around me. But after initial introductions with a couple of people I crossed paths with whilst unloading stuff from the car, there haven’t been many conversations since.

Sadly we live in a time and culture where people keep themselves to themselves, perhaps many are even afraid of the people that live near them because they don’t know anything about them. With most of us having nearby shops open at all sorts of times there isn’t the need to go to the neighbour to borrow sugar or coffee any more! Most interactions with neighbours are brief as we run from one place to the next.

Some friends of mine recently threw a street party. They got permission to close the road off and filled the street with furniture, food and fun activities for the children. I was inspired again as I heard stories of different people who had lived on that street for years only just getting to know each other.

So my tip for this month is as much for myself as for any of you. To find new and creative ways to get to know the people around you. That might be neighbours, that might be people at your local pub or the gym. (I guess the easiest place to start is to find out a little bit more about the people at work who sit near you… but I know so many of you are already really good at that.)

Why bother? Because I think most of us do genuinely envy the communities that we see in a lot of TV programmes (even if we wouldn’t necessarily want their traumatic life experiences or comical dilemmas).

“Change is here to stay”

A quote I heard someone say again recently. (Or another one that I saw on the internet that I quite liked: “Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine”.)

From a personal perspective, I feel like a lot’s changed recently. I’ve moved home, city and work location. And while I can find excitement in something new, ultimately I like familiarity, so change is never easy. (Although I am getting better at it!)

The world is fast moving these days and people cope with it differently:

“Everything changes but you”
Take That – holding on to a person in a time of change.

“Ain’t it crazy how you think,
You’ve got your whole life planned,
Just to find that it was never ever,
In your hand,
Change”
Sugababes – accepting that we can’t always control everything around us.

“(Ch-ch-changes),
Just gonna have to be a different man,
Time may change me,
But I can’t trace time”
David Bowie – adapting to the changes around us.

So I think just as we adapt as a business to economic change, I think we have to learn to adapt our personal lives to the change around us, economical or otherwise. (As I’ve noticed many people starting to bring lunch to work rather than going out to buy something.)

But rather than just adapting to a changeable world you can even take it one step further. Why not BE a world changer? As the MJ lyrics (below) suggest that you’ll have no doubt heard on the radio a few times recently, try taking a look in the mirror and seeing what you can do to affect the world around you in the context you’re in. Because maybe it will be individuals making little decisions to see what they can do to positively impact the people in their communities (as well as those further afield) that will start to actually “heal the world”.

“I’m gonna make a change,
For once in my life,
It’s gonna feel real good,
Gonna make a difference,
Gonna make it right”
Michael Jackson

It’s been a tough few weeks for me for a variety of reasons. The most annoying of which started when someone bumped into the back of my car a couple of weekends ago. What followed was then a series of frustrating conversations with various insurance and garage companies that now thankfully seems to be getting resolved with no cost to me. (I also currently have a nice little courtesy car to drive while my car is getting fixed, courtesy of the other guy’s insurance.)

This process has made me realise that maybe I’m not quite as good at dealing with my anger as I would like to be. It is frustrating when other people or companies disrupt your life because of their mistakes or incompetency. But I have to ask myself, is it worth the health problems I might cause myself from a good shouting session? (Or the noise disturbance to the neighbours?)

What’s the alternative though? To bottle up all the anger? Then I think of the wise words from Jack Nicholson in the film Anger Management:

“There are two kinds of angry people – explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. “

So my advice then, that I clearly also need to give to myself, is to find healthy ways to release your anger. (For anyone that has seen the film Anger Management then I refer you to the amusing singing scene on the bridge in traffic.) Anger, like many other emotions, is very difficult to avoiding feeling but what you can control is how you deal with it. Whether it’s talking it over with a neutral person, going for a run, killing some zombies in a computer game or sipping a glass of wine in a hot bath. Find out what works for you. But certainly don’t bottle it up because who knows what you might end up doing after a while of doing that.

What are you afraid of? Spiders the size of your face? Heights any greater than two floors? Beards? (The fear of which is known as pogonophobia – see the brief Bill Bailey clip below!)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=3xpZrK1P5dY

Some people have other sorts of fears; living their life afraid of death, illness or worrying that something will happen to a member of their family or other loved ones.

However there is a more subtle fear that sometimes grips us and affects our relationships, our work, most of our life really! This is the fear of failure. Any guy who has asked a girl out that he has a crush on will have known this fear, and hopefully overcome it.

I find in my job sometimes there are moments when a large metaphorical red button is in front of me to hit – to press “enter” on my keyboard will permanently alter an essential database, is a common situation I find myself in. And however much testing you do, you can never be certain of quite what will happen – you just need to take a chance. I’ve had many moments in my career when everything has gone fine, and none of you lot have noticed a thing. But I also have had a few occasions when it’s all gone horribly wrong. They are pretty scary times for me as I suddenly have to wrack my brains trying to work out how to fix it.

But I don’t regret those times. If I never took any chances I would not be able to do my job properly. Making a difference in business, or in life, is about being able to take chances on things that aren’t certain, putting your neck on the line. (I think it’s one of the core elements of falling in love with someone.)

So when a challenge looks you in the eye, weigh it up – is the risk worth taking for the potential gain that might come from it? Don’t live a life of hesitancy, never taking any chances, because it won’t be a significant life otherwise.

When someone comes to me with an IT problem I have the sometimes daunting task of trying to find a solution for them. The majority of the time I then have to try and figure out what might have caused this problem in the first place. Sometimes it’s obvious to me – I’ve seen it before or there’s some clear logic to it.

Other times it’s painfully complex. (The staff in Nottingham will testify to several occasions of close to hair ripping out moments.) A combination of huge frustration with a small amount of intrigue keeps me trying to figure it out. But sometimes it gets to the point when a solution is more important than an explanation of what caused it in the first place! (You’ll have all heard me say just try a reboot and see whether that fixes it – this is when it gets to the point that I just need to get you up and running again.)

Why am I telling you all this, when I’m sure many of you just care about getting the problem sorted and making sure that it doesn’t happen again any time soon? Well I think sometimes we can do the same thing with personal issues – spending too long trying to figure out what we might have done wrong.

I’ve been really challenged recently about not focusing too much on the past. There’s no doubt that we can learn from our mistakes but if we dwell on them too much we’ll be crippled by them and they will prevent us from being able to achieve all that we can. So once we’ve learnt our lesson we turn around and focus on the road ahead, with all the challenges that it holds for us. (Because as far as I’m aware there’s only one man who can run whilst looking behind him –Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt, see picture below.)

On a lighter note I thought I might be able to slip in another clip from the IT Crowd, in light of recent news about piracy.

After a very short month, I’ve decided to be lazy and follow on very similarly to my last “tips”. So I have another few film references and I want to talk about a trait that pairs nicely with hope.

At first thought you might come to the conclusion that the heroes in most films are the strongest, most skilful or intelligent people. But I put it to you that this is not actually the case. I believe that heroes are actually generally recognised by one thing: their perseverance. The Rocky films, the Karate Kid, Saving Private Ryan, the Matrix, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Terminator films, Die Hard. The list only ends due to my lack of being able to remember any more!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=v-JWpwfLltA

In many of them there are moments that you’ll be able to picture. When the “hero” has his face on the ground, beaten severely, no energy at a point where his body is crying out to give up. At this point determination kicks in: “I’ve come too far, I’ve worked too hard, the reward is too great to give up now.”

The ability to persevere in the face of adversity is not something limited to lead characters in action films. It is something that we could all do with more of, particularly at the moment. When tiredness sets in, when the thing that you’ve put your hope in seems further and further away, when giving up seems so much easier. It is then that you need to tell yourself to keep going, to maintain focus on the targets you’ve set, and to trust in one of the few truths that films give us – that those who persevere will normally conquer.

Anyone that knows me well will know that I have two big passions. One is music which many of you will now be aware of! The other is films. My “tips” this month therefore has a film related tint.

One of my favourite films of all time (and many other people’s) is the Shawshank Redemption. And for me the strongest theme running through that film is of particular importance to us now. Right at the end of the film Andy (Tim Robbin’s character) says in a letter to his old friend Red (Morgan Freeman’s character): “Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Now while I find it hard to believe that anyone has not seen this film I’ll try not to give too much about the ending of the film away. But for those who have seen it they will see what Andy’s hope meant for him. It gave him the strength to endure much, to persevere, to keep working hard for what he dreamt of. Isn’t that the kind of thing we could all do with more of at the moment?

Another quote that I think of particularly in these times is from the recent batman film, the Dark Knight: “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you the dawn is coming.” (And I’m sure I remember an almost identical quote from Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.)

So my tip for this month then? Find something to hope for, if you can find something that is as certain as the rising of the sun tomorrow morning. Because it will carry you through any difficulties you may have to face before then. So I leave you with a final quote (£5 from my own pocket for the first person to email me with where I’ve quoted it from): “hope does not disappoint us”

My tip for this month is a little different (and maybe unexpected): “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!”. Now while some of you no doubt come up with vulgar ideas on what I might mean by that I suppose I should at least tenuously link this to IT support in some way. (Might decrease my heavy work load after all!)

Please listen out for colleagues nearby struggling with IT problems. If you’ve got an idea of how you might be able to help, then shout out before they hit the PG speed dial. (Ultimately it will save them time as well rather than having to waiting to get hold of me.)

Right. So back to what I actually intended by my tip for this month. I’m sure you’ll be familiar with the concept of working to your strengths but more than that I’m talking about using your creative abilities. I wait in eager anticipation for the Encore Stars in their Eyes this weekend to see some of our staff’s musical and theatrical talents. After all there’s something about publically demonstrating an ability that you are genuinely good at.

Which leads me on to my possibly controversial point. I have nothing against graffiti… What I really hate is bad graffiti – a scrawled “tag” (or “nickname” to those of us a little distant from street culture) on a wall near a train station. But good graffiti – showing effort, complexity and a little imagination – at the right place and time I can admire that.

The difficulty in this advice is knowing the difference between good graffiti and bad graffiti, a talented singer and an awful singer. So as an important follow on from “if you’ve got it, flaunt it” I would also add: make sure you keep honest people around you who will tell you when you have not got it!

Every time I watch X Factor, I look at some of the early auditionees and ask myself, “Why did their friends tell them they could sing?!”. So before you follow my advice make sure you’ve got some genuine friends around you who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re about to do something stupid.

So what practically does this mean? I think I’m going to leave this to your imaginations, other than to say I would love to see more people on the streets of Nottingham singing beautifully along to their iPods and maybe even throwing in the occasional dance move too.

Happy flaunting!